Friday, July 13, 2012

My Road to 26.2...

My Road To 26.2:
Today's workout consisted of 2 miles of running and strength training (intense leg workout). I was super excited to get it done. When I finally got out of the house it seemed like it was to be like every other nice run. The weather conditions were ideal (sans a few mosquitoes). I began with a warm up and stretch, nothing new there. But...right around mile 1.5...I broke into tears. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I never stopped running, but I continued to cry. Even having my face covered with my shirt and sobbing I pressed on the run.
I cried...
For every time I lied to myself and said that I couldn't do it, For every time I let people, places and things get in my way, For every time I hated myself for what I thought was me giving up then realizing it was just where I was in my walk, For my husband's new eating habits and commitment to help me succeed like he has in so many other areas...
I cried because I could hear my inner self screaming, "SCREW YOU devil!" and shutting UP the voice of fear that I once gave place to its commentary. I cried because I knew...that this time...I was never going to be that girl again, the one you reference when you're describing someone heavy, "She was bigger than Alana". Never again would I wonder what it was like to LIVE healthy and not just diet. Never again would I find it odd or interesting when people eat healthy because they like it.
Then...I stopped. I wiped away the last tear... silently thanked God...and finished my run. (Then I mustered the chutzpah to complete my leg workout. ;0) )
...And my journey continues

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