When That Time Comes

I was taking a moment to think of my boys and their future.  I know there will be a day when my current role will change.  I will go from primary caregiver to stand by advisory.  I tear up when I think of the day that they will go off to college, get married, and become parents of their own.  It's bitter sweet because it is exactly the crescendo that I have worked up to for so long.  I have long prepared my heart to receive my daughters-in-law.  I have prayed many nights for their mothers.  I have called them "awesome husbands" and "wonderful fathers" while they lay sleeping.  God has shown me little snap-shots into their futures and I am proud to be a part of it.  I look forward to all the different dimensions that God has set in place for my life.  But for now, I will relish in every moment as their main source, second only to God.

A poem/declaration written for my boys:

A Note To My Sons:

I am a WARRIOR Parent. Being your friend, dressing you in the best brands, helping you travel the world IS NOT in my job description. I am commissioned by God to give you the love and direction that makes you a great father, godly husband and compassionate leader. Thereby forfeiting my selfish desire to keep you from being sad and giving in when you cry. My reward...watching as your maturity and revelation not only out shines that of your peers but noticing how it serves as a bar by which others will measure their progress. I accept being unpopular, unconventional, and undesirable. I die to myself as I cry to myself when trading in your beautiful smile for the reality of inhibiting you from doing what ALL your friends do so freely. I don't know all the rules automatically. Therefore I posses the humility to apologize when I mess up because in that action I also teach you strength of character. We spend more time cuddling and smiling than we do crying. But it is the times that you may not like me that also shape you as a man.
Do I focus on this too much? Am I obsessed with the task that I have been given? Am I over zealous in the site of your growth or decline?
YOU BET I AM!
I Love You, So I Raise You To The Status Of King Not Peasant!
I am honored to be the Mother of Men!
-Alana Rene' Higginbotham Feb '10